“She has so abundant hair.” The aboriginal words the doctor said to my mother aback I was born. Curly, blubbery atramentous beard aloof like my mum’s. And it’s been an important allotment of my activity anytime since. From sitting in amid my aunty’s legs accepting my braids done to constant relaxer, as a adolescent babe I abstruse that accomplishing your beard as a Atramentous woman agency time, accomplishment – and some pain.
India Arie sang: “I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am the body that lives within.” And technically, it’s true. I am added than my hair. I’m the actuality who aloof happens to accept this beard on her head. But absoluteness hasn’t reflected that. Years of conditioning accept angry my character carefully to whatever hairstyle I’m acid that day, that ages or that year.
If you’d ask me how I feel about my hair, I’d acquaint you I adulation it and this isn’t a lie. I do, abnormally as I was advantageous to be aloft by a Atramentous woman who affirmed my accustomed hair. In accessory school, I was consistently the babe with braids and to this day, they’re one of my favourite hairstyles. I would sometimes relax my hair, but alone absolutely for appropriate occasions, and my mum forbid me from accepting braid until I was able to allow it. This meant I was affected to adulation my beard way afore the accustomed beard movement asked me to – and it worked.
All those years of alienated relaxers and befitting my beard in careful hairstyles like box braids meant my beard grew advantageous and long. Whenever I had the adventitious to appearance it and abrasion it out I would. This meant I charge adulation my hair, right?
The “big chop” was commodity I associated with beard that was unhealthy. I’d generally flirted with the abstraction of acid abundance off but, in practice, the abstraction afraid me. The breadth of my beard fabricated me feel adorable and I relied on that feeling. I admired my accustomed hair, but that’s partly because it was continued and agnate to my braids and wigs. Aback we allege about European adorableness standards aural the Atramentous association we balloon that breadth is allotment of that conversation.
As a accustomed “girly girl”, I was additionally abashed that if I cut my hair, I’d somehow lose my femininity. Equally, I capital to claiming myself and that actual notion. And added importantly, I capital to save some of the money I was spending on my hair. A new wig can amount about £200 and braids up to about £100.
So, aloof like that, one day in August, I took myself off to the bounded barbers, as recommended by a ancestors friend, to cut and dye my hair. And it’s been one of the best trips I’ve fabricated all year.
Afore and afterwards the crop: Habiba Katsha (Photo: Habiba Katsha)
Keziah Ndouri understands the motivation. Anytime aback she was a child, she says, she’d internalised letters about adorableness actuality angry to the breadth of your hair.
“I bethink it actuality commodity all the Atramentous mums and girls about me strived for. I abnormally bethink the little girls on the Aloof 4 Me relaxer boxes, and absent beard continued abundant to appearance like theirs,” she says.
But the 23-year old archetypal and agreeable architect from London was added growing annoyed of accomplishing her beard – abnormally afterwards it started thinning.
“I had aloof accomplished combing out some plaits aback I stopped, affective my keys, larboard my house, went to the abutting barbershop, and accepted that the uncle cut my hair,” Ndouri tells me. “Best accommodation ever.”
On aboriginal walking into the barbers a few weeks ago, I absolutely absent some of my blowing – this was clearly a amplitude for men, clashing my aunty’s or the salon.
Nevertheless, the beautician fabricated me feel at affluence and we got forth well. Afore he started work, he asked me if I was abiding and, nervously, I said yes. Seeing my beard abatement about me fabricated me realise how abundant I absolutely had. As it beneath by the minute, I started to agitation a bit. But the agitation didn’t last. Aback he was accomplished and I looked into the mirror I admired what I saw: me.
Not alone did I feel the best assured I accept in years, I looked amazing. Now he’s my go-to man for my bi-weekly trims.
Short beard makes me feel able and at my best beautiful.Dakota Branch-Smith, 26
Dakota Branch-Smith, 26, an ball PR annual controlling from London, already had a absolute accord with her beard aback she absitively to go for the chop, she tells me. But aback acid it short, both that accord – and her beard – accept alone got healthier.
“Short beard makes me feel able and at my best beautiful,” she says. Both the simple act of acid her beard and the after-effects accept fabricated her “1000% added confident”. Now she can’t see herself any added way than befitting it short.
“It’s fabricated me do bolder things like try new colours and styles” (Branch-Smith is currently antic a achromatize albino crop) “and aloof embrace my accustomed curls.”
‘1000% added confident’: Dakota Branch-Smith with her new beard (Photo: Dakota Branch-Smith)
I apperceive what she means. Acid my beard has absolutely rid me of any affiliated European adorableness ideals. It has reminded me that I am enough. And in agreement of maintenance, I no best accept to accord with the accent of continued ablution canicule or anguish about how I am activity to appearance my hair.
Branch-Smith has kept chastening abbreviate anytime aback the big chop and doesn’t anticipate she’ll abound it any time soon. “It works so able-bodied for me and my lifestyle, as able-bodied as the actuality it’s the one appearance that apparel me the most.”
It has reminded me that I am enough.
But added women who’ve accepted abbreviate beard address a added rollercoaster adventure to get there. In primary school, Chancy*, now a 28-year-old NHS administrator, was affected to cut her beard aback it absent its bloom and still remembers actuality fabricated fun out of by her classmates.
She after had to cut it a additional time, now age-old 13 and activity alike added self-conscious. “I spent best of my boyhood years antisocial my accustomed hair, its texture, its look, aggregate about it. I consistently adopted braids,” she tells me.
Chancy isn’t abiding what afflicted her to cut her beard abbreviate as an adult. All she knows is, this time round, it’s on her own agreement and she feels confident.
Chancy: ‘I feel like it apparel my personality’ (Photo: Chancy)
“I’ve maintained this hairstyle because of how low aliment it and it’s easier for me to dye it,” she tells me. “I feel like it apparel my personality. Now if anyone says I attending like a boy, I aloof say, ‘Cool’. At atomic I accept a bigger appearance up.”
People like to accept an assessment on your hair. So, what do those about me accomplish of my new style? Well, my accompany adulation it, cogent me aloof what I charge to apprehend (and acceptation it too, I hope) – that my abbreviate beard apparel me.
My earlier sister is additionally a big fan of the cut, but again she was a big access during this accomplished action too, as addition who cut her beard in her own aboriginal 20s and has been a huge apostle anytime since.
That time, our mother didn’t allocution to her for a week, admitting cogent us that she additionally cut her beard abbreviate as a student. She seems added at accord with my cut.
Cutting my beard has been the greatest exercise in airs I could anytime do.Keziah Ndouri, 23
My sister now wants me to agreement with colour. Turns out, circumscribed beard is a canvas. And to my surprise, I’ve begin added men acclaim me now aback I’m out than before, which goes adjoin my abstraction I charge breadth to feel attractive. Perhaps that’s because it has afflicted the way I see myself, central and out.
It was still a nerve-wracking experience, though. Esther*, a 27-year-old apparel artisan from Essex, has consistently enjoyed the accord she has with her hair, but she relates to those antecedent nerves.
“I acquainted like abbreviate beard would clothing me added than accepting continued hair,” she tells me of authoritative the decision. But what took some aplomb alone gave her more. And ultimately, it was a liberating experience. “I like the abandon to do what I appetite at any time, additional I’m not adored with beard as it consistently grows back,” she says.
Esther: ‘Hair is aloof beard and it will consistently abound back’ (Photo: Esther)
Some bodies will acquaint you abbreviate cuts alone clothing assertive faces and heads, but Branch-Smith tells me she’s a huge apostle for anyone accepting a go, and Ndouri agrees that alike if you’re afraid beforehand, aloof go for it.
“Cutting my beard has been the greatest exercise in airs I could anytime do,” she says with hindsight. “As I cut abundance at the alpha of lockdown, we weren’t activity out, I wasn’t acid makeup, so I absolutely had to attending at myself and get adequate and abound in confidence. Which I did.
“I acquainted like I had accomplished a abyss aural myself that I had never reached, and the accord and airs that I begin there, I won’t anytime lose.”
It’s acceptable for beard bloom too. “My beard actuality accustomed and damage-free (minus acerbic it) has been the best it’s been and it’s so abundant easier to manage. I anticipate a lot of bodies see atramentous beard as adamantine to accouterment and booty affliction of which is not the case,” she says. “Hair is aloof beard and it will consistently abound back.”
Esther, meanwhile, says it’s accomplished to affluence yourself into what can still feel like a big decision. “It took me a year to assuredly cut my hair. What additionally helped was afterward abbreviate beard pages on Instagram and YouTubers who additionally did the big chop as well, aloof so I knew what abeyant styles I could do.”
Whether you’re acid your beard out of pragmatism, annoyance or self-love, the accommodation to do the big chop is a able one. I’m blessed I assuredly fabricated the attempt and I can’t delay to feel my aplomb grow, alike if my beard stays short.
* Some interviewees adopted not to accord their surnames.
This commodity originally appeared on HuffPost UK and has been updated.
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